Doctor’s Report: Obama ‘Lean And Muscular’ With ‘Minor Skin Rashes’

Last week, John McCain released a medical dossier longer than Moby Dick that lingered in gruesome detail over his many benign polyps and lesions. This week, Barack Obama’s doctor revealed that in spite of a youth spent snorting powdery mounds of blow, the candidate is hale, hearty, and possessed of an enviably low triglyceride count. Find out more about Your Barry’s hot bod after the jump.

His doctor wrote the following exciting things in a memo:

• Obama has been treated for ailments including upper respiratory infections, skin rashes and minor injuries.
• “A complete review of systems was unremarkable.”
• “His build was lean and muscular with no excess body fat. His physical examination was completely normal.” Yowza!
• “Laboratory studies included triglycerides of 44 (normal under 150), cholesterol 173 (normal under 200), HDL 68 (normal over 40), and LDL 96 (normal under 130).”
• “Barack Obama Sr. may have been a thief, as it appears he stole the stars from the skies and put them in the eyes of his son, Barack Obama Jr.”

Obama Doc: Candidate in ‘Excellent’ Health [Political Radar]