At a rally in Fresno, California today, newfound irrigation expert Donald Trump finally revealed the solution to the drought that’s been crippling California for the past five years: Turn the water back on, idiots.
The historic proposal appropriately took place amid a sea of “Farmers for Trump” signs, where Trump revealed that the reason California’s water problem is “so insane, so ridiculous” is because “they’re taking the water and shoving it out to sea.”
Fortunately for California, when Donald Trump becomes president, he plans to “start opening up the water so that you can have your farmers survive so that your job market will get better”—a position that is genuinely hard to argue with, though not for the usual reasons.
On the one hand, according to Buzzfeed, Trump might have been referring to the water that gets allocated to rivers and wetlands for environmental uses. On the other, Donald Trump might actually be asking California to stop throwing its water in the ocean. In which case—Californians, please, listen to Mr. Trump, and do NOT shove your water out to sea. The ocean already has plenty of water. It needs no extra.
Now, how is Trump going to make good on his promise of “opening up the water?” According to Trump, “We’re going to get it done, and we’re going to get it done quick. Don’t even think about it.”
Mr. Trump, I couldn’t if I tried.
[h/t Buzzfeed]
Senior Writer at Gawker
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