[ theme music ]Hillary Clinton: Where is he?Wh-Where's Zach?Zach Galifianakis: [ZACH] I was justtrying to scare her.Zach Galifianakis: I was just--Zach Galifianakis: Like in the...Halloween spirit of it all.Hillary Clinton: Not a good idea aroundthe Secret Service.- Are you okay?- I'm fine. I'm fine.Let's start.Zach Galifianakis: Hi, welcome to anotheredition of Between Two Ferns.Zach Galifianakis: I'm your-- your host Zach Galifianakis,and my guest today is Hillary...Zach Galifianakis: Clinton.Zach Galifianakis: Thank you very muchMrs. Clinton for being here.Zach Galifianakis: Critics have questionedsome of your decision making recently,Zach Galifianakis: and by you doing this showI hope it finally lays that to rest.Hillary Clinton: Oh, I think it--it absolutely proves their case.Don't you?Zach Galifianakis: Are you excited to bethe first girl President?Hillary Clinton: Well, I mean being Presidentwould be such an extraordinary honor,Hillary Clinton: and responsibility,but being the first women electedHillary Clinton: President and what thatwould mean for our country,Hillary Clinton: and particularly whatthat would mean for,Hillary Clinton: you know, not just little girls,little boys too.- That's pretty special.- Mmhmm.Zach Galifianakis: Not to take away from the historicsignificance of you perhaps becomingZach Galifianakis: the first female President,but for a younger, younger generation,Zach Galifianakis: you will also become theirfirst white President,Zach Galifianakis: and that's pretty neat too.Zach Galifianakis: As Secretary, how many wordsper minute could you type?Zach Galifianakis: And how doesPresident Obama like his coffee?Zach Galifianakis: Like himself?Zach Galifianakis: Weak?Hillary Clinton: You know Zach, those arereally out of date questions.Hillary Clinton: I... You need toget out more.Zach Galifianakis: What happens if youbecome pregnant?Zach Galifianakis: Are we going to be stuckwith Tim Kaine for 9 months?Zach Galifianakis: How does this work?Hillary Clinton: I could send you some pamphletsthat might help you understand--Zach Galifianakis: First you supported Obama'sTrans Pacific Partnership deal,and then you were against it.Zach Galifianakis: I think that people deserve to know,are you down with TPP?Hillary Clinton: Uh... I'm notdown with TPP.Zach Galifianakis: No, you're supposed to say,"Yeah, you know me."- Like the hip-hop group--- Don't tell me what to say.Zach Galifianakis: Fine, lose.[softly] The country goes to shit.- Let's talk about Trump, um--- Oh, let's.Zach Galifianakis: When you see how well it works forDonald Trump, do you ever think to yourself,Zach Galifianakis: "Oh, maybe I shouldbe more racist?"Zach Galifianakis: When he's elected President,and Kid Rock becomesSecretary of State,Zach Galifianakis: are you going to move toCanada or one of the Arctics?Hillary Clinton: I would stay inthe United States.- And what would you try to--- I would try to prevent himHillary Clinton: destroying theUnited States.Zach Galifianakis: So you're going tolead the Civil War?Hillary Clinton: No. I wouldn't--I wouldn't take up arms.Hillary Clinton: I-I think that mightbe a little extreme.Zach Galifianakis: Oh right, because you were sayingbefore we were rolling that you wantedZach Galifianakis: to take awayeveryone's guns.Zach Galifianakis: Very cool.Cool, cool, cool.Hillary Clinton: I really regretdoing this.Zach Galifianakis: Any regrets over losingthe Scott Baio vote?Hillary Clinton: Not a one.- So it wasn't heartbreaking that--- No.Zach Galifianakis: Yeah, but Chachi.I mean who's going to be next?Zach Galifianakis: Max Headroom?Zach Galifianakis: I'd love to meet the personwho makes your pants suits.Hillary Clinton: Oh really.Zach Galifianakis: Yeah, because for Halloween,I wanted to go as a librarianfrom outer space.Hillary Clinton: I think that would bea good look on you.Zach Galifianakis: Have you thought about what you'regoing to be wearing at the debates?Hillary Clinton: You know, there's this thing calledthe double standard, and so,Hillary Clinton: I think about, well,Hillary Clinton: what should the first woman nomineeof one of our two major parties wearHillary Clinton: to the debate,and I have no idea,Hillary Clinton: so if you've got suggestionsI'm open to them.Zach Galifianakis: Do you wonder what youropponent might be wearing?I mean--Hillary Clinton: I-I assume he'll wear, you know,that red power tie.Zach Galifianakis: Or maybe like awhite power tie.Hillary Clinton: That's even moreappropriate.Zach Galifianakis: When you went to Donald Trump's wedding,did he write his own vows?Zach Galifianakis: And did Michelle Obamawrite Melania's?Hillary Clinton: Um, I...Hillary Clinton: really couldn't see or hear very well.So I'm not quite sure what his vows were,Hillary Clinton: but I'm sure they were greatand huge and wonderful.Zach Galifianakis: Like his bowels.[ she chuckles ]Zach Galifianakis: Chelsea, your daughter, and Ivanka Trump,Trump's daughter, are friends--Zach Galifianakis: does Ivanka ever call Chelsea,you know, to talk about boys thatmight have crushers on her,Zach Galifianakis: like her dad?Hillary Clinton: I don't think so.Zach Galifianakis: What's going to be the numberone focus of your Presidency?Hillary Clinton: Oh Zach, it has to be the economy.We need more good jobswith rising incomes.Hillary Clinton: We gotta make the economywork for everybody,- not just those at the top--- We need to take a...Zach Galifianakis: We need to take a break.Zach Galifianakis: We just need to have aword from our sponsor. Okay.Donald Trump: Washington is broken.Donald Trump: The truth is too many politiciansare totally controlled by specialinterests and lobbyist.Donald Trump: We're going to makeAmerica great again.Donald Trump: [DONALD in voiceover]I'm Donald Trump,and I approve this message.He approves the message.Hillary Clinton: Wh-Why would youplay a commercialHillary Clinton: from my opponent in themiddle of our interview?Zach Galifianakis: He paid me in steaks.Hillary Clinton: I would be afraid toeat them if I were you.Zach Galifianakis: It's a good cut of meat.I think it's part of the [bleep] hole.Zach Galifianakis: Well, this has been a lotof fun Mrs. Clinton.Zach Galifianakis: We should stay in touch.What's the best way to reach you?Zach Galifianakis: Email?[voice from device]You got mail![ theme music ]