What Is Permissive Parenting?

Permissive parenting is a type of parenting style characterized by low demands with high responsiveness.

Permissive parents tend to be very loving, yet provide few guidelines and rules. These parents do not expect mature behavior from their children and often seem more like a friend than parental figure.

These parents tend to be the polar opposite of the so-called "helicopter parents." Instead of hovering over their children's every move, permissive parents are incredibly lax and rarely make or enforce any type of rules or structure. Their motto is often simply that "kids will be kids." While they are usually warm and loving, they make little or no attempt to control or discipline their kids.

Because there are few rules, expectations, and demands, children raised by permissive parents tend to struggle with self-regulation and self-control.

Early Research on Permissive Parenting

Based on her research with preschool-age children, developmental psychologist Diana Baumrind described three major parenting styles. In later years, researchers would continue to investigate the different styles of parenting and even added a fourth style. Permissive parenting is one of the original parenting styles described by Baumrind.

Permissive parenting is sometimes known as indulgent parenting. Parents who exhibit this style make relatively few demands on their children. Because these parents have low expectations for self-control and maturity, discipline is a rarity.

According to Baumrind, permissive parents "are more responsive than they are demanding. They are nontraditional and lenient, do not require mature behavior, allow considerable self-regulation, and avoid confrontation."

Characteristics of Permissive Parenting

Permissive parents:

The Effects of Permissive Parenting

Researchers have found that the overly relaxed approach to parenting exhibited by permissive parents can lead to a number of negative outcomes. Children raised by permissive parents tend to lack self-discipline, possess poor social skills, may be self-involved and demanding, and may feel insecure due to the lack of boundaries and guidance.

Research has also suggested that kids raised by permissive parents:

Because permissive parenting involves a lack of demands and expectations, children raised by parents with this style tend to grow up without a strong sense of self-discipline. They may be more unruly in school due to the lack of boundaries in the home and may be less academically motivated than many of their peers.

Since these parents have few requirements for mature behavior, children may lack skills in social settings. While they may be good at interpersonal communication, they lack other important skills such as sharing.

Positive Effects of Permissive Parenting

While research has shown that permissive parenting has numerous downsides, there are some positive aspects.

One study found that while authoritative parenting resulted in better outcomes for several measures, permissive parenting produced optimum outcomes in terms of self-esteem and social well-being.

Some researchers suggest that cultural factors play an important role in the effects of parenting styles. Much of the research concluding that authoritative parenting is the best approach was conducted in Western cultures, while other studies indicate that other styles, such as permissive parenting, might be just as effective in other cultures.

Recap

While studies suggest that permissive parenting has a number of downsides, other research has shown that this style may have some benefits. Cultural factors may also influence the impact of each type of parenting style.

How to Change Permissive Parenting

If you tend to be a pushover or struggle to enforce rules, consider looking for ways that you can develop some more authoritative parenting habits. This can be difficult at times, because it often means becoming stricter, enforcing rules, and being able to cope with your child being upset.

Some strategies you might consider:

Follow Now: Apple Podcasts / Spotify / Google Podcasts

A Word From Verywell

Permissive parenting can lead to a number of problems, so it pays to consciously try to utilize a more authoritative approach if you recognize these signs of permissiveness in your own parenting. 

If you tend to be more of a permissive parent, think of ways that you can help your children understand your expectations and guidelines and be consistent about your enforcement of these rules. By providing your kids with the right balance of structure and support, you can ensure that they grow up with the skills they need to succeed in life.

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our

editorial process

to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

  1. Power TG. Parenting dimensions and styles: a brief history and recommendations for future researchChildhood Obesity. 2013;9(s1):S-14-S-21. doi:10.1089/chi.2013.0034

  2. Baumrind D. Authoritative parenting revisited: History and current status. In: Larzelere RE, Morris AS, Harrist AW, eds. Authoritative Parenting: Synthesizing Nurturance and Discipline for Optimal Child Development. American Psychological Association; 2013:11-34. doi:10.1037/13948-002

  3. Dalimonte-Merckling D, Williams JM. Parenting styles and their effects. In: Encyclopedia of Infant and Early Childhood Development. Elsevier; 2020:470-480. doi:10.1016/B978-0-12-809324-5.23611-0

  4. Masud S, Mufarrih SH, Qureshi NQ, Khan F, Khan S, Khan MN. Academic performance in adolescent students: the role of parenting styles and socio-demographic factors – a cross sectional study from peshawar, pakistanFront Psychol. 2019;10:2497. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2019.02497

  5. Berge J, Sundell K, Öjehagen A, Håkansson A. Role of parenting styles in adolescent substance use: results from a Swedish longitudinal cohort studyBMJ Open. 2016;6(1):e008979. doi:10.1136/bmjopen-2015-008979

  6. Ehrenreich SE, Beron KJ, Brinkley DY, Underwood MK. Family predictors of continuity and change in social and physical aggression from ages 9 to 18: family predictors of aggression trajectoriesAggr Behav. 2014;40(5):421-439. doi:10.1002/ab.21535

  7. Howe AS, Heath A-LM, Lawrence J, et al. Parenting style and family type, but not child temperament, are associated with television viewing time in children at two years of age. Reed P, ed. PLoS ONE. 2017;12(12):e0188558. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0188558

  8. Calafat A, García F, Juan M, Becoña E, Fernández-Hermida JR. Which parenting style is more protective against adolescent substance use? Evidence within the European context. Drug Alcohol Depend. 2014;138:185-92. doi:10.1016/j.drugalcdep.2014.02.705

  9. Garcia F, Serra E, Garcia OF, Martinez I, Cruise E. A third emerging stage for the current digital society? Optimal parenting styles in Spain, the United States, Germany, and Brazil. Int J Environ Res Public Health. 2019;16(13):2333. doi:10.3390/ijerph16132333

  10. García F, Gracia E. Is always authoritative the optimum parenting style? Evidence from Spanish families. Adolescence. 2009;44(173):101-31. PMID: 19435170.

By Kendra Cherry, MSEd
Kendra Cherry, MS, is a psychosocial rehabilitation specialist, psychology educator, and author of the "Everything Psychology Book."

Thanks for your feedback!

https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-permissive-parenting-2794957