Surprisingly! Somehow, someway, my blog is being viewed, all around the world! To be honest, I've had writer's block for quite some time. I'm not sure why and I thought it would magically disappear but to my dismay, it stayed.
So here I am, typing at a keyboard for the world to see what words will appear...
I'm not your typical writer and I acknowledge this in a world of predictability.
My daughter decided to go rummaging through a stack of old college papers. These are not ordinary, boring, college essays. She had leaped upon a pot of gold...my essays from years of my creative writing classes where I poured out my heart and soul. How I wish I could unload such honesty and emotion these days? As she read through my essays, I kept yelling for the world to hear "Oh my gosh, WHO wrote this?"
And it made me quite a bit sad because that piece of me has disappeared for quite some time. So, here I am, digging deep, and letting the words fly, as I type.
Honestly, if I tell the truth, the words hurt too much. Life has been good. And life has been a jack in the box. I wake up everyday, praying not to hear "please call me" from my Mom.
Father's Day was a bag of mixed emotions. I wanted to push the thoughts far away and tried to distract myself. Who am I fooling? My Dad is my Everything. I honestly don't know what will happen when he is no longer in this world. My world might go spinning out of control. I've warned my husband. I'll need an anchor. I'll want to run. I'll probably start running ultra's again. When I'm in the woods, I have this feeling of being one with nature, a certain calmness takes over me. Even when I'm lost in the woods and have no idea where I'm going, I always end up heading the right way.
My Dad has Lewy Body dementia and it's absolutely devastating. I wish my parents hadn't moved away. I wish I was closer to help my Mom. I think about her everyday and all that she is going through. I have flashbacks of that tearful moment with my Dad, visiting with my kids, and me, and my husband, and I knew, that he knew, deep inside his mind, who we were and the flashbacks of soccer games, basketball games, band concerts, and family celebrations. The tears are endless. A sort of traumatic grief of losing a wonderful man to a dreadful disease that robs your mind and body.
Honestly, it is hard to express the rage I feel. I want my Dad back. If only I had known the brief window of time we had, I would have relished all those moments spent with him. I can't even begin to explain how sad I am. And if you see me, you might never know, because I hide it well, and carry on.
I write as I run. My thoughts are a million miles a minute, Here they come...
IT'S NOT FAIR.
I've been so silent for so long. Because I knew the emotions would absolutely flood me.
And now here we are.
IT'S NOT FAIR.
Hello. Wake Up. No One EVER said life would be fair. SO GRIN and Bear it.
Yesss....I stay silent as I scream to the moon.
I wish I could write more often. I wish I could just sit here and spill all my thoughts to the Universe, Could you imagine how freeing that would be??????
My life chases me.
There are so many thoughts I kick around in my chaotic mind
OKay,,,,give me a moment here, as I breathe....
Spinning, endlessly, amongst the boundaries of the Universe.
I'm constantly wondering
But my thoughts remain within myself.
And now it's a new song
AND I DANCE
Yes, I loose myself.
Into the music I go.
Escape
Spinning, Moving, Not Being Still
Because
then I would have to remember...
life is about living in the moment..
HA! SO CLICHE'
Blink
Don't Open Your Eyes.
FRozen
In Time.
Don't Ever, Ever
WHAT DID YOU DO??
I told You.
Close Your Eyes.
Close Your Eyes.
Close Your Eyes.
HOLD ON
EMBRACE
WHAT ARE YOU FEELING
RIGHT NOW
REMEMBER
EVERYTHING
IT ALL COUNTS.
Don't miss this amazing one night only benefit concert at Arena Stage, 1101 Sixth Street, SW, Washington, DC, to assist with relief efforts to Puerto Rico!
Holiday-Hearts-and-Home benefit concert is TONIGHT, Monday, December 11th, 2017 at 7pm. All ticket and cash bar sales will go towards supporting local chef Jose' Andrés’ charity World Central Kitchen ( worldcentralkitchen.org/) as well as #ChefsForPuertoRico, providing relief efforts to Puerto Rico following the destructiveness of Hurricane Maria.
Tickets are available at the door this evening or online for $40: Holidays Hearts and Home benefit concert for Puerto Rico.
Victor Wisehart is the actor, who currently plays Charley, the Fix it Man, in the Pajama Game, that spearheaded this fundraiser event. Holidays, Hearts, and Home was created by, directed and produced by Victor Wisehart. I spoke to him about this event, after seeing him perform in the The Pajama Game at the Arena Theater, a week ago. "It is important to give back to the community and do good when the opportunity arises."
It will be a magical evening! Hosted by four-time Helen Hayes Award-winner Ed Gero and featuring amazing talent, who are cast members from The Pajama Game, as well as, guest stars of the
Washington, D.C. area theater community, including Natascia Diaz, Britney Coleman and Tim Rogan. They will be performing beloved holiday classics and musical theater songs.
METRO: Arena Stage at the Mead Center for American
Theater is only one block from the Waterfront-SEU Metro station (Green Line).
When exiting the station, walk west on M Street toward Sixth Street, and the
main entrance to the Mead Center is on the right.
PARKING: Parking is available in Arena Stage’s on-site garage for $22 on a
first-come, first-served basis. Patrons can also park at the Public Parking
Garage at 1101 Fourth Street, one block from the Mead Center, for $14.
To download press images, click here.