Hunter Biden, with his father, US vice-president Joe Biden. Photograph: Charles Dharapak/Associated Press
Name: Hunter Biden.
Appearance: Chip off the old block.
His names rings a bell. Is he related to someone famous? He's the son of Joe Biden, the US vice president.
What is he, sort of a wayward, ne'er-do-well playboy type? Not really. He's a graduate of Yale Law School and a former senior vice-president at MBNA America Bank.
Good for him. During the Clinton administration he worked in the US Department of Commerce. He's presently a partner in an investment firm. And counsel for a national law firm. And an adjunct professor at Georgetown University.
I get it: he likes to keep busy. He has even found the time to join the board of a gas company called Burisma Holdings Ltd.
Isn't that a bit fishy? Why do you say that?
Because he's the vice-president's son! That's a coincidence. "This is totally based on merit," said Burisma's chairman, Alan Apter.
He doesn't sound very Ukrainian. He's American, as is the other new board member, Devon Archer.
Who? Devon Archer, who works with Hunter Biden at Rosemont Seneca partners, which is half owned by Rosemont Capital, a private equity firm founded by Archer and Christopher Heinz.
Who? Christopher Heinz … John Kerry's stepson.
I think Putin's propaganda people can take a long weekend; their work is being done for them. What do you mean?
Hasn't Joe Biden pledged to help Ukraine become more energy independent in the wake of its troubles with Russia? Well, yes.
And isn't Burisma, as a domestic producer, well positioned to profit from rising gas prices caused by the conflict? Possibly, but Hunter Biden is a salaried board member, not an investor. According to anonymous sources in the Wall Street Journal, neither Rosemont Seneca nor Rosemont Capital has made any financial investment in Burisma.
So it's not fishy at all? No one's saying that.
Do say: "Somebody needs to get involved in Ukraine's corporate governance, and it might as well be a clutch of rich, well-connected American dudes with weird first names."
Don't say: "Thanks, Dad."